We hear it all the time; one of the biggest regrets most people have on their
death bed is the fact they were afraid to go for their biggest dreams. The dream
to start that business, get that degree, write that book, go for that promotion, ask
that person out, buy that home, or go on that trip.
So many people make the choice to play small in their lives as they are overcome
by a multitude of fears; afraid to venture too far from their comfort zone and too
afraid of looking bad if they fail.
Have you ever fallen down and then quickly got up and looked around to see if
any one saw you? Most people are so afraid of falling down, they avoid going into
uncharted waters or doing things that may potentially make them look bad.
Many of you have some big dreams you’ve held on to for years. Things you say
you really, really, really want: a successful business or career, an incredible
intimate relationship, great health, a new home, write a book, get a degree or go
for that advanced degree. However, if it requires you to take a risk and you could
possibly fall down and look bad or lose, you choose not to go for the things you
really want, which are those big dreams.
I have recognized that most people would rather look good and lose, than risk
looking bad and win. Unfortunately, most people would consider it a loss if
someone saw them fall down or look bad.
If you have Big Dreams and choose to Play Small, you will produce small results.
When you are playing small, you are generally risk averse, which means you may
feel the cost of taking the risk outweighs the benefits, or the threat of failure
outweighs the potential of success. Therefore, you remain stuck and do nothing
or you Play Small because it is too risky.
When you play to win and you have the courage to go for what you want, you are
not risking failure, you are risking success. I have said many times, if you risk
nothing, you are risking EVERYTHING.
If you play to win and make the choice to get out of your comfort zone, you WILL occasionally fall down, and you may look bad at times.
The question is, why would you be more concerned about what others may think or say about you than winning and going for the things you really want in life?
Playing Small means looking for an easy way to get to your outcome, generally
that is someone else’s “Best Practice”. Looking for “Best Practices” for some
appears to be the smart thing to do; however, I am of the opinion it is simply
playing it safe or playing not to lose.
If you successfully take someone else’s wins and replicate their success, it does
not mean you fulfilled your dream.
Going for your dreams will afford you an opportunity to play to win. Playing to
win will allow you to create the NEXT Practice. When you play to win you will
invent a NEW future, understanding that in order to play at this level, failure must
be an option.
Look at all of the people in history that have won big. What you will become
aware of is that winners lose more often than losers lose.
There is no dishonor in failing, the dishonor is in quitting or never going for what
you really, really, really want.
If you choose to play small, it means that you are just existing, which in essence
means you are on the sidelines watching the game, commentating how others are
playing, complaining about how the game is being played and how it is negatively
Playing to win comes with an understanding that the only way to affect the score
is to get in the game. In order to make life happen because of you, in order to
make your dreams come true, you will need to wake up and take some risks.
When you take risk focused on a positive outcome, you will fall down a few
times… SO what?
Playing Small means waiting for someone to open a door for you. This is a “Go Big
or Go Home” conversation. If you are waiting for someone to open the door for
you, you are playing the role of a victim and if they never do, you have someone
to blame. Where’s the benefit in that?
Playing to win means to Just do WIT (Whatever it Takes) to open the door for
yourself and if there is no door, create one NOW. If what you say you want is
behind that door, what are you waiting for?
You do not lack anything in this moment to take the next step to best your best,
get to your next level or play to win.
You may not have ALL of the answers right now and you may not have ALL of the
needed resources in this present moment. However, you have what you have.
Take whatever step is available to you right now. When you do, you will have a
new perspective of your dreams and your desired outcome, and your next step in
the journey will be revealed to you. If while taking these steps, you happen to fall,
who cares? Get back up, dust yourself off, and get right back in the game. That is
the only place you can affect the score on the scoreboard.