I Can’t Afford It
Many of us, if asked, would say that “anything is possible”, however, when we are faced with something that we do not have the full capacity or resources for, we often resign to a belief that we can’t have that thing or we settle for something less than what we really, really wanted.
Now I know, “anything is possible” was taught to you; however if you authentically believed it, you would never say “I Can’t Afford It”.
In my book, Unreasonable Possibilities I talk about how much the conversation that we are having with ourselves leads to our behaviors, because your energy and actions will follow your thoughts and as a “human doing”, you behave in accordance to what you authentically believe to be true.
When you create a conversation that says “I Can’t Afford It” you are saying that impossible exists and you really do not feel that what you want is available to you. If you were committed to and believe you really wanted it, then you are saying you are not worth having it. If you really believe that you are worth having it, then you are saying that you are not committed to make it happen, which ultimately means that you really do not believe you can have it and therefore, you are not worth it.
When you are having a conversation with yourself that you can’t afford it, you narrow your vision. As you view what is possible through this tunnel vision, the resources available to you cannot be seen.
In chapter 3 of my book entitled Change Your Mind, Change Your World, I talk about the difference between the flag and the wind. The flag is passive, it sits around waiting for an energy to show up to give it direction. The flag always moves in the direction of the biggest energy, the flag is waiting for permission to take action.
The wind is deliberate, it is purposeful. The wind provides the energy that determines direction, speed and the ebbs and flows. The wind makes a statement and it is bold.
When you say, “I Can’t Afford It”, you are being the flag, waiting for something to happen to you in order for you to receive the things in life that you say you want. When you are being this flag even if something or someone shows up and provides you with the resources you need, you will not be able to replicate that success, unless your winning strategy of having someone else do it for you is manifested every time.
Whatever you want is available to you, no matter how large or small.
Anything really is possible, however, you must believe it before you see it. Your wins and losses are occurring in your thinking before you take any action, so take a moment to check the conversation you are having with yourself.
If you have a conversation with yourself that says “keep your outcome realistic”, be aware that where your definition of realistic begins is where your belief in what is possible ends. When you identify something as unrealistic, the only thing you have authentically identified is your capacity to believe beyond what you can see or what you presently possess the resources to obtain. It does not matter how many resources you have, what matters most is how resourceful you are.
As soon as you say “I Can’t Afford It”, you give ALL of the negative forces in the universe permission to work against you. Permission to bring every barrier and obstacle in your way to prove that you are right.
An “I Can’t Afford It” attitude is not just about money. It is a belief that permeates throughout a person’s entire belief system. I had a young high school client that was a swimmer. He had been taught that because of his height he would never be able to swim certain times in his events. He believed this coach who basically taught him that he could not afford it. This coach basically was saying that this young man did not have the resources, talents, gifts or the possibility of being an amazingly successful swimmer because of his size.
Well, he was not likely going to grow another inch and quite frankly that was outside of his control, however, there were a few very powerful things within his control that were game changers. I believe that game changers are those things and people that alter a predicted future in a positive way. I further believe, that most of the things that fit into this category are within your control.
As a result of him believing that he did not have the resources to swim those times, he behaved in accordance to that erroneous truth and therefore empowered every negative force that was available to keep him from reaching that outcome. When you do this you make “Murphy’s Law” a reality, anything that could possibly go wrong, will.
After he attend our breakthrough leadership training, I began coaching him at his dad’s request. He had a tough time believing he could afford it, that he could swim faster times with the body he had.
I taught him how to set a very specific outcome he was committed to, and then he developed a list of meaningful benefits he would receive after reaching that outcome. We determined the time frame to reach his outcome and decided who his accountability partner would be.
Our next focus was to take the first step necessary to get a quick win, with the understanding that every coin has two sides. I informed him that I did not embrace Murphy’s Law, instead Discover Leadership Training had established our own law that anything that could possibly go right, will go right. This young man became aware that both of these beliefs were available to him and he could choose either of them in every given moment.
Quite often individuals attempt to go from A directly to Z without taking the steps necessary to get there. Taking the step necessary to get to “B” successfully helps you develop behaviors that can be replicated as you get a quick win. That quick win will also allow you to build the self-confidence needed to take the next step and incrementally get to a big win.
He continued living these principles and following this process and as a result, improved his times and his successes. He was able to get a full scholarship to a prestigious university, which was his outcome and additionally, he became the captain of the university’s swim team. I have taught these same principles and processes to students, business owners and executives from all over the world.
Here are the 5 simple, small steps you need to take to get ANYTHING that you want in your life when you understand that you indeed can afford it.
- Identify what you want by setting an outcome and make a commitment to that outcome. Buy a business, increase sales, improve your relationship, get physically healthier, get a promotion, improve your grades, get a better job.
- Develop 5-7 very meaningful benefits you will receive when you reach your outcome. These benefits should have some emotion attached to them. The benefits should be things that will make a positive, significant impact on your life and on the lives of others.
- Determine what your time frame will be. Once you have determined your time frame to reach your outcome, I recommend that you establish some shorter time frames or milestones to be able to observe your trending and to give yourself something to hold you accountable.
- Identify someone you have a trusting relationship with and share your outcome with them. It will be important to give them permission to hold you accountable to do what you said you would do.
- Have the courage to take the first step to make the outcome your reality. Once you understand what you want, ask yourself repeatedly, what am I committed to do today to get to my outcome. As soon as you identify this step, you may find it to be a very scary step! I want you to know that courage is not absent of fear, real courage is acknowledging the fear, remaining focused on your outcome and your meaningful benefits and take the step in spite of the fear.
If my outcome is to get a promotion this year, as soon as I establish the outcome, I contextualize the appropriate positive conversation that I will create with myself. The appropriate, positive energy and actions will follow that conversation.
The first thing I would do at that point is go to the person that would ultimately determine my state of readiness for the position that I am focused on obtaining and have that person make me aware of all of the skills and attributes they are looking for in the person that will fill the position. Then I believe it is critical for you to determine how they feel you stack up in this moment and what areas they believe you need to work on to be the person selected for the position. It is important for you to be able to see you through their eyes.
Once you are armed with this information, if you are still focused on the outcome of being promoted to that position, then it is time to make a commitment to Just do WIT (Whatever it Takes) to make it happen. As soon as you make that commitment the resources you need will come into view as you realize that all that you need to do today is 100% of what is available to you. You must realize that every journey begins with the first step and the appropriateness of every step is authenticated based on the outcome that you set.
Now, at this point most people would sit down and craft out a plan. If that is your choice then go for it, however, I believe that crafting a plan in this situation will bring in limitations to what is available to you. If you come up with a plan, it will be historical in nature, based on things that you have done in the past or someone else’s opinion of how you should approach it based on their past successes. I am of the opinion this approach is playing not to lose and will not distinguish you from the crowd, because most of them will use this same safe approach.
If you want to potentially create something really special, then I recommend that the only plan that you have is to “be in the moment”. You know what your outcome is, you have made a commitment to make it happen. I suggest you craft five to seven very meaningful benefits you will receive from obtaining this promotion. And then continually live every moment asking yourself what am I committed to do today to take the next step to get to my outcome?
I recommend that you do what I refer to as a “mental rep” where you project yourself to the outcome, create in your mind what it will feel like to arrive at that outcome. See yourself experiencing the benefits of the outcome. What you have now done is empowered all of the powers of the universe to help you see all of the incredible opportunities and resources available to you to make your outcome a reality. You will literally be able to see yourself trending to your outcome as you become aware that everything in the universe is conspiring for your success and anything that can possibly go right, will go right.
When you choose to approach the things you want using these powerful principles and processes, you will experience greater successes in both your personal and professional life.
Please give me your feed-forward in the comment section below!